Twenty-three years ago today, my husband and I exchanged our vows and committed our lives to each other. Here we are still enjoying each other’s company decades later, loving each other deeply and growing stronger gratefully. We’ve had our teens, twenties, thirties, and now our forties together. I’m thinking about the reasons for enduring a long and generally happy married life when fifty percent of divorces in the United States end in divorce. Below are my personal tips for a successful marriage.
Share your money. One hundred percent of my friends who marry rocky all share this one thing: they have separate bank accounts. While the idea of having a bank account may seem old-fashioned to some, I strongly believe that having a separate account causes a couple to break up. In the first decade of our marriage I made more money than my wife. In the second decade of our marriage, she has earned more than me (I have mostly focused on being a mother these years). We all supported each other at different stages of our lives and there was no sense of financial inequality with one person earning more and keeping extra funds to himself. In my opinion, a healthy marriage shares their money. If you can’t bring yourself to deposit your money with your wife, there are some underlying problems that will surely come to light year after year. Once you create a “my and your” division, I believe, it creates a path to other divisions in the relationship.
Don’t control your wife’s fun possibilities. I often hear men say that they have to run something by “their boss” (i.e. wives) before they decide to go out with their boys or travel with the boys. On another note, women often feel that they have to run personal expenses on luxuries by their husbands before they buy. While it is common courtesy to share your plans with your spouse, it is important to note that your spouse should never think that they are seeking permission to do or buy something. Let your spouse enjoy life, encourage them to accept invitations with friends, support the need to make valuable purchases at once. Saying “no” to them will only create annoyance.
There are hobbies and interests outside. Spending time with your wife is an important element of a successful relationship. However, it is equally important that each partner has their own interests outside of marriage. Doing so reduces dependence on each other, allows for more interesting conversations on that date night and leads to an overall happier life.
Listen One another. I know, we all think we are good listeners but to be a great listener we need more than just listening. It is necessary to process the information we receive and turn this information into Action. When your spouse shares their feelings with you, try to implement what they have expressed. There is nothing more annoying than spreading your courage about a behavior that bothers you just to face the same behavior over and over again. Do yourself and your spouse a favor and solve the problems that your spouse expresses Immediately, Otherwise be prepared for potential injuries after these same problems recur.
To spend time together. I know that couples seem to be happiest when they spend a lot of time together. I don’t know if they spend time together because they are happy with each other or they are happy with each other because they spend time together. I also know that couples spend a lot of time and their relationship is weak. It’s really obvious. Spending more time together will lead to a stronger relationship and a more successful marriage.
Divide the different roles equally. Each spouse should be in charge of different “divisions” of the family. Perhaps one can pay the bill while the other orders groceries. Or maybe one is planning a social calendar and the other is taking the kids to school. More generally, one can earn through their career, the other has no salary in the profession of child rearing. We need to do hundreds of things in life. Make a list of everything you need to run your own household. You should have a list Equally Both spouses are divided into partners based on each wife’s strengths, abilities and desires.
Let your wife develop. It is inevitable that your spouse will change year after year. The natural tendency of human beings is to evolve and transform over their life cycle. Yet many wives try to ruin their partner’s growth. I know a couple whose husband wanted to leave his career as a doctor, to pursue a new passion for teaching in his forties. His wife strongly discouraged this change. I understand, it’s horrible when your spouse suddenly wants to start a new career, which earns less. However, you should never take away any opportunity from your wife. Like you, he / she gets a shot in life. If you want them to actually like you, stop chaining them.
Thanks to them often. Although each spouse has assigned tasks, they should not be granted. I have been assigned a chef hat in our home. This role is expected of me but my husband does not fail to thank me for every meal I prepare. This morning, I went to fill my gallon jug with just the water that my husband filled it for me. Of course, I thank him. Do not neglect each other. Thanks to each other for the smallest gestures, even if they are to meet the “expected”.
Don’t be “one of those” who think Valentine’s Day is a way for Halmark to make money. After a few years of marriage, many couples start celebrating each other’s birthdays and anniversaries or holidays like Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day … don’t be one of those couples. Plan something fun for your spouse at these celebrations, buy something special for them. It saddens me that many people have convinced themselves that “birthdays are not important” or that buying gifts for the occasion was completely excluded. Take every opportunity to make your wife feel special and show them that you took the time to think about them on these special days. Anyone who says these facts are not important to them is lying. They have convinced themselves that these calendar days are foolish in response to not getting attention from their wives on this holiday year after year. Everyone wants to be humiliated. Everyone. Do not miss these special days.
You work. You cannot have a happy married life unless you are happy. A happy life requires work, effort, dedication, and patience. If you are dissatisfied with the aspects of your life, they will manifest in your married life. You Of course Work on your own happiness before contributing to marital happiness. In May I published an article called “15 Tips for True Happiness”. I hope you take a minute to read it for inspiration. If none of these tips appeal to you, find out how. Couples often make the mistake of thinking that they are unhappy because their mate makes them unhappy. This can certainly happen in some cases but most of the time it is in the unhappy person who is dissatisfied with their own life outside of their marriage. Just know, you can’t have a happy married life You Happy.